Sacred Reflection

This is my favorite night of the year.  A perfect, brand new beginning, when all things seem possible and a chance to start anew.  Time to reflect on all of the precious gifts I have received this year and to humbly give thanks for all that I have and all that is yet to come.

With love and gratitude I wish you all a joyous New Year!

Accentuate the Positive

For me the Law of Attraction is just like the old song "Accentuate the Positive".  The more I focus on what is going right the better everything goes. 

Something I realized recently is that I have always had a tendency to exaggerate my stories.  Not really telling a lie but more like enhancing the truth.  I thought for a very long time that I needed to stop doing that but now I realize that is part of what has helped me move forward in my life. 

I was not willing to be that person paralyzed by her circumstances.  I knew that somehow, someway I would break free and live the life I always dreamed of, telling a better story helped me to do that.   Now when I tell my improved version of the tale I know I am just accentuating the positive.

Work-Life Balance

Sometimes it seems as though work is interfering with my personal life.  When I start to feel like I want to quit my job and do something totally different I realize how much inspiration comes from working and the people I get to interact with.  The relationships I develop are very important to me and it gives me a such a great perspective on what others have to contend with in their lives.

Many organizations talk about employees needing to maintain a good work-life balance but in reality very few of them really support it.  I continue to strive to find that balance in my own life and appreciate very much being around others and learning from their examples.

How do I know I love you?

I know I love you when I wish for your happiness instead of my own.  When I want you to have your heart’s desire, not mine.  When I think of you and realize that all I want is what you want, even when it isn’t me - that’s how I know I love you. 

Sensitivity and Social Media

The whole concept of Social Media is fascinating to me, being able to communicate and interact with people all over the world with the click of a button is astounding.  I love to share and participate in many aspects of this phenomenon but I do have to be careful about getting too involved.  I am a very sensitive person and do get hurt when someone posts a harsh comment or reply to me.  It still surprises me the things that people will say with the anonymity of the internet and feel totally justified in doing it. 

I have been told all of my life that I need to be tougher but that is not the person I want to be.  I am very happy with who I am and if that means getting my feelings hurt from time to time - so be it.  My gentle nature allows me to share something very special with others on and off-line and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.  So for me Social Media is simply a great way to share with other like-minded souls where ever they may be.

End of Innocence

I was 7 years old sitting in the classroom when the announcement came over the loud speaker for everyone to report to the school auditorium.  We all whispered with curiosity as the teacher paraded us single file down the hallway.  I remember fidgeting in my seat, anxious to hear what all the excitement was about.  I tried to look around and see where my little brother was sitting but I couldn’t find him. 

As the principal walked onto the stage it was clear that something was wrong and I began to feel uneasy.  We had been practicing duck and cover bomb drills in our class and it crossed my mind that maybe we were being attacked.  Then she said, “The President, President Kennedy has been shot and has died”.  There was a lot of commotion and not a lot of detail, I’m sure she knew it was too much for young children to digest.  We were sent home for the day so we could be with our parents.

The walk home was surreal, I didn’t understand the vulnerability I felt or why this scared me so much.  All I remember thinking was if someone could kill the President of the United States they could kill anyone, even 2 young kids walking home from school. 

In the days and weeks that followed it became very clear that this was a tremendous and unimaginable tragedy for people all over the world.  Looking back over the past 50 years I don’t know what might have been but I do know that for me it was the end of innocence. 

Love is not for you

I just read the blog post by Seth Adam Smith “Marriage isn’t for you” and was very touched by what he said.  It is a lovely story of a son who is fearful of getting married and gets some loving and kind advice from his father who tells him “You don’t marry to make yourself happy, you marry to make someone else happy”.  What a beautiful thought.

Now, I must admit to being a 57 year old self-proclaimed women’s rights advocate with serious existentialist underpinnings.  Always fiercely independent, I believed it was up to me to find and create my own happiness in this world but in the past few years something new is immerging something deep and profound.

Perhaps it is a matter of maturity, age, experience or all of the above but I see that it’s not the love you receive but the love you give that is so important in life.  When I look at my own children, grandchildren, friends and even strangers I realize that the best and most precious gift I can give is to just love them.  Just as they are, no strings attached, no expectations, just pure love and acceptance.  To want what they want not for myself but for them.  So, I couldn’t agree more with Mr. Smith’s lovely article – love is not for me!

Perfect Unfolding

Looking out my kitchen window I see a small rose bud beginning to open.  It's late summer and most of the blossoms are fading but this one is just coming to life.  Each day as I watch it I think of how perfectly my life has unfolded, just like that lovely little rose. 

Remembering what I’ve always known

It doesn’t take long for me to start feeling unhappy and dissatisfied with my life when I forget who I really am.  Before I know it I can shift from cheerful and excited to gloomy and frustrated.  The good news is that I no longer have any tolerance for that darkness in my life.  Very quickly I am motivated to make a change and regain the true sense of myself – a joyful and loving spirit.  

Always with me

It has been 21 years since my dear mother passed away.  For many years I felt the extreme loss of not having her here.  What I didn't realize is that she never went away.

Her vibrant, glorious spirit lives on - in the smiles of my precious grandchildren or the gorgeous roses that bloom.  She sends messages like a beautiful spring robin or two shiny new pennies to let me know she is near.

Every day in every way I see and feel her and know she is always with me. 

Attitude of Abundance

For many years now, it has been my conscious intent to change my thoughts from scarcity to abundance.  This was no small feat considering most of my life had been about what we did not have and very little of what we did.  Growing up my family was very poor and I was keenly aware of the struggles my mother went through just to make sure that we had food to eat and a clean place to live.

While raising my own children, I began to understand that poverty was more of a mindset than a situation and tried in small ways to at least create the illusion that we had more than we did.  Little by little our circumstances began to change; I could plan for special events or occasions and trusted that somehow it would work out.  I didn’t understand that I was creating it by how I was thinking but now I know it truly is about having an attitude of abundance that will bring it into your life.   

Dreaming my life

I have come to understand and appreciate the true value of dreaming.  Anytime, night or day, it takes me to a new place and makes everything seem possible.  It feels like traveling in my mind to create the experience I want to have.    

Just like planning for a trip I have to be specific about what I want on this journey.  Where do I want to go, what new and exciting experiences will I have?  Asking myself those questions help fuel my imagination until I can see and feel myself in that place.

Now I know, without a doubt, that everything I dream of is not only possible but that it will come true.  Exactly how and when it will show up in my life is unknown but that is also up to me.  The more open and receptive I am to what I have asked for the quicker it comes.  Not always in the way I expected but better than I could have ever imagined.  So all I have to do is keep dreaming….      

Lack Drives the Desire

Whatever we feel is missing from our life generates the wish to achieve it.  Once we begin to focus on what we want and not the absence of it we begin to draw the energy to create it.   Letting our emotions guide us, we know if we are moving toward or away from what we want most. 

We must learn to appreciate the lack that drives the desire within us that summons the energy to create everything our heart yearns for.

Waking Spirit

My life is taking on a new shape now - just like the tulips that lay sleeping through winter and now are waking and reaching for the sun, so is my spirit.

Lose Control - Gain Balance

I have spent an enormous amount of time and energy trying to be in control - of myself, my life and even those around me.  I was taught that it’s what I needed to do to get along in the world.  Now, it is very clear to me that I need to release control in order to find my true equilibrium. 

It is thrilling and frightening all at the same time but I know when I lose control I will gain my balance and find the true meaning of my life.

Blessed

When I look back on my life the only word that comes close to describing it is blessed.  I am in awe of the beautiful and perfect unfolding that is my life.  I have children and grandchildren that fill my heart with pure joy and experiences that make me feel happy and fulfilled in ways that I never imagined. 

This journey has been better than anything I could possibly have planned and I am so very grateful to be so blessed!

Make Believe

I have decided that reality is overrated.  It is the excuse we use to not make changes in our lives.  I can’t buy the house because I can’t afford it, I can’t find a job because the economy is so bad etc.  If we want something to change in our lives it has to be how we are thinking.  If we focus on what we want we will move toward that, if we focus on where we are or what is going wrong that is where we will stay. 

Albert Einstein wrote “Imagination is the preview of life’s coming attractions”. 
So, if we can make believe we can make it happen.

Energy

 
I love when I can feel the energy of something new about to happen.  It’s like the calm before the storm when everything is very still but you can feel the electricity in the air.  Tomorrow is so full of potential and I can’t wait to see what is approaching.

 

Accept Yourself

I can spot the issue that needs attention from me by what is appearing most in my life at the time.  Right now that is acceptance – of me by others and of others by me.  What I really need to focus on is accepting myself and not worrying about the rest of the world.  If I can look inward and not judge myself perhaps then I can look outward and feel true acceptance.

Own Your Life

There comes a time for each of us when we have to decide what we really want for ourselves, not what others want from us.  I have lived most (almost all) of my life trying to please someone else in order to feel loved and accepted.  Finally, I am beginning to understand that the only way I will be happy is to please myself.

I think Alfalfa from Our Gang/Little Rascals said it best - “I’m sorry Spanky, I have to live my own life”.

Instant Karma

I grew up listening to the Beatles but it wasn’t until recently that I really got the message of John Lennon’s song “Instant Karma”.  That song describes exactly what is happening in my life right now.  The more I study the teachings of Abraham the more I understand that it is only my personal vibration that matters.  Whatever I project is exactly what I will get back – kind of a “reap what you sow” philosophy. 

What I am noticing lately is that it happens very quickly – I barely have a thought or experience and I see some result almost immediately.  This cause and effect is very useful in helping me to see how I can improve my offering so my “Instant Karma” is what I want it to be.

Pain

As much as it hurts, I learn so much about myself when I am going through a difficult time.  The challenge for me is to get past the heartache so that I can begin to see all the possibilities that the current situation is offering and appreciate the desire that springs from the pain.

Self Love

When asked what it is that I love about myself it didn’t take long for me to answer.  It is my capacity for growth and expansion.  I am so grateful to see how my life has evolved over the years and I know that I will never be less than what I have become. 

I possess many wonderful qualities (love, compassion, kindness) but now every aspect of my being has blossomed because I now know what it means to love myself.   

Who I Am

 My question used to be – who am I?  Was it the young girl that was too frightened of the world to venture out, or that brave woman who could travel the world on her own without fear?  It has taken all of my 57 years to finally begin to see my true self and to love and appreciate who I am.

Go with the Flow

When I was a girl, my family would go to the mountains and we would float down the river on old tire inner tubes.  Sometimes it was a peaceful easy ride and sometimes it was wild and exciting, but we always let the current carry us.

It never occurred to us to try to go against the stream and yet that is exactly how many of us live our lives.  For me, I am interested in the path of least resistance and will be happy to just go with the flow.

Destination - Joy

It really doesn’t matter how I get there, all I know is that I will always be happy.  Somehow, throughout the wild journey of my life I have come out on the other side and as I look back it amazes me how the twists and turns have become the perfect path.  A road I would never have expected to lead me here but it did and the destination is joy.

 

Pencil not Ink

I have learned over the years that plans will always change and that is the only true constant.  How I have dealt with those changes has shaped my life into what it is today.  I find that the more willing I am to alter the original scheme the happier I am. 

Now I am learning that it is much more about how I feel than what plan I follow.  There are many ways to arrive at my destination as long as I draw my map in pencil and not ink.

Nothingness

The subject of nothingness has been defined in many different ways throughout history.  My personal interpretation is that it is the state of not thinking or doing anything at all.  To free my mind of all conscious thought so that my spirit can flourish. 

It is only out of nothingness that something true can be created. 

Lessons from a Child

Every time I see my grandson he reminds me of things that I have forgotten and always teaches me something new.  His joy and passion for everything from trains to peanut butter amazes me.  I love to watch his sense of wonder as he explores and investigates every aspect of the world around him.

Now it is time for me to practice what he is teaching me – to love the adventure of my own life, to see with new eyes and discover all those things that I may have missed in the rush of my younger years.   I am very grateful for the pure and beautiful lessons from a child.

Out of Balance

It used to be that all I wanted was a balanced life.  No more of the extreme highs and lows I experienced when I was younger.  Even as recently as this week I thought that I needed to find the balance between my work and personal life.  I was wrong!  What I really want and truly need is for the rest of my life to be full of extreme joy and appreciation for all that is wonderful in the world! 

No more tiptoeing through this incredible journey, I am running headlong into the most wondrous experience I can possibly have and want only to be desperately, hopelessly out of balance!

 

Loneliness

Loneliness is not something that I am very familiar with.  I spent the first part of my life with family, friends and children and the second part appreciating the joy of living on my own without feeling alone.  I have enjoyed the solitude and freedom to do whatever I want whenever I want. 

Something has changed for me in recent years.  Now I have a true desire to share my life in a way that I’ve not felt before.  Whether I’m travelling or just at home I want the closeness and shared experience of being with someone special.

It will be very interesting to see what wonderful experiences will come from loneliness.

Split Loyalties

After returning from my trip abroad I’m finding it increasingly difficult to reconnect with work and the priorities that others would set for me.  Being away always gives me such clarity about what I do and do not want in my life. 

This journey was full of appreciation of the past and anticipation of the future with gratitude for exactly where I am right now.  Now that I am home, I feel compelled to be true to myself and pursue only those things that make my heart happy.

At this amazing time of my life I am no longer interested in or willing to split my loyalties.

Belonging

The train pulled into stop at the small station in Darlington and I noticed a woman stand to put on her coat.  I couldn’t help but stare – she looked exactly like my mother.  The same features, hair, shape – everything and it brought tears to my eyes. 
Here in Yorkshire, the exact place where my family is from to see someone who looks like me gave me an intense sense of knowing who I am and belonging in the world.

Humble Beginnings

To say my life had a humble beginning would be an extreme understatement. I was raised by my mother with one younger brother and it was a struggle to pay rent or keep food in the house. Mom worked very hard to keep what was left of her family together and never got any support of any kind from anyone. Too proud to take state assistance she managed by working as many jobs as she could find.

This month I went to Scotland and England to see where her family was from and now I see exactly where she got her strength and work ethic.  It was a very emotional journey to stand on the land that my ancestors lived and worked.  Theirs was a hard life indeed and it was very satisfying to know where I came from. 

When I look at the wonderful life I have – it is hard to believe it started from such humble beginnings….

Gentle on my Mind

There are places in my heart that I am unable to describe.  Thoughts and feelings that I hold so dear - I'm grateful to another whose music and words can express that for me...

"Gentle On My Mind" by John Hartford
... I pretend to hold you to my breast and find, that you're wavin' from the back roads by the rivers of my memory ever smilin', ever gentle on my mind.

Value Added

It is very important as we age that we shift our awareness to our new state of being.  So often we measure ourselves against a younger version that is no longer accurate.  We have grown and changed in ways that may be imperceptible to us but is truly who we have become.  

The depth of knowledge and experience we have achieved throughout our lives is present in everything we do.  We now have insight and inspiration that allows us to see that the whole is much more than the sum of its parts.  Our contribution to the world around us has expanded and we are value added.